I’m a butterfly having a human experience as a woman who is black

Image by jggrz from Pixabay — I love how this butterfly’s wings are tattered but she is still a beauty. This could be metaphor for life.

I’m also an empath, a highly sensitive person (HSP), and an INFJ, which is to say: My feelings slice deep. Caring like I do overwhelms me. And injustice and wickedness against anyone leave pieces of my heart caught in my throat every time.

I write to uncover what I care…


Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

No and Yes are without a doubt the two most powerful words in any human language.

These two short words coexist like the wrong and the right sides do in the same garment.

Because before you can say Yes to what you do want, you must say No to the…


Death & Clutter

Yes, at birth, we all swallowed a mortal brew

Image by 849356 from Pixabay

As an out of the womb minimalist, I’ve been decluttering my whole life.

But lately, I’ve been even more ruthlessly removing clothes, shoes, books, digital files that don’t serve who I am today. This even extends to people, including family and friends, I don’t love or respect.

We waste so…


Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay ~ bumper sticker added by author

I’m not happy about William Shatner’s space voyage even though Star Trek: The Original Series is my favorite TV series of all time.

In fact, I don’t give two rats’ behinds about any of the super-rich idiots or ordinary folks traveling into space.

Here’s why —

We refuse to care…


Without consequences, human beings rarely choose to be better.

No consequences, no motivation to change. And selfishness and evil continue to flourish without reflection or regret or justice.

Look, if someone engages in criminal misconduct and is sentenced to prison, isn’t that a form of “cancellation?”

Well, once a company or person reveals their inhumanity and evilness, why would I continue to do the following?

  • Watch their shows or read their books with my precious time — life.
  • Fatten their wallets with money I traded my time to earn.

So, if someone is free to choose to act the -ism fool or engage in selfish and evil misconduct, I’m free to CANCEL their arses. They’ve earned it and it’s deserved.

Now, can anyone tell me why Donald T****p isn’t wearing orange and still golfing at Mar-a-Lago? Remember, no consequences = no reflection, no regret, no justice.

Originally published at https://janinehelligar.com.


Family Relationships

And because of it, my herstory is forever incomplete and undernourished

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

Some time ago, a dear friend asked, “If you could spend 24 hours with anyone, who would it be and what would you do?”

Pondering this question has unearthed deep cravings in me that I didn’t even know I had. It seems that I’m famished for connection, family history, and…


LIFE LESSON & SELF

Yes, there may be a way to take back your life in chunks

Image by lula504 from Pixabay

I can still remember the very first dress I had custom-made by a local dressmaker.

It was the cutest white leopard print silkie (that is, polyester posing as silk) dress with cutaway shoulders that skimmed lovingly over my 19-year-old curves. I looked and felt smashing in that dress. And I…


RACE & SELF

And I don’t see a period of “rest” in my future here on Earth

Photo by Klaus Nielsen from Pexels ~ And no, this is not the AUTHOR.

Did you know that in Martin Luther King Jr.’s last 31 hours of life it is said he was exhausted, depressed, and terrified of dying?

I can imagine. It had to be demanding living Black in this hostile White country. It had to be demanding daring to have a dream


Family Relationships

One day it will be too late to “mine” these goldmines. So get in there today and dig

Image by Author

She wept.

Not too long ago, my brother Jeffrey heard the soft sounds of tears from another room. He went to check it out and found his 16-year-old daughter weeping with her whole heart.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I miss my grandparents.”

What makes this moment fascinating…


It can seem impossible to love one’s whole self in a world trying night and day to prove to us how unlovable we are in some way.

We all struggle to embrace the parts of us we’ve been taught to find unacceptable.

Sometimes, we do need to grow up and be better. But other times, we are just who we are. And it’s not bad or good — it’s just us.

Once I went shopping to replace…

Janine Helligar

I’m a butterfly having a human experience as a woman who is black

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